I could have put a stupid pun here, but I decided not to.

So a while back I was eating a taco salad, and put iceberg lettuce on it, you know, from the "salad mix" bag, but for some reason, some jerk decided to put not only lettuce in the bag but also little bits of purple cabbage and, get this, carrots! Now I don't know about the rest of you, but who wants carrots in their taco salad? I mean, I guess I can see some reason for having those things in a salad: they add color, nutritional value, you know, those types of things, but lets be honest, who actually uses those bags of lettuce for plain old salad? I've used them for sandwiches, tacos and taco salads, but I've just about never used it for salad. Those little bits of carrots can be really annoying on other things, especially sandwiches. I always try to avoid the little bits while the other people waiting for the bag get increasingly angry, but no matter how hard you try, they always manage to sneak along with the lettuce somehow. Even if you do carefully inspect every piece of lettuce to make sure there's no carrots on it, the taste of it still sticks to your lettuce, making it taste all gross. Eventually somebody's gotta think "Hey, I've got a great idea, you know these annoying little bits of carrot and cabbage in this lettuce we sell? What if we just left them out! plain lettuce! in a bag!" the guy would probably be a billionaire before dessert, but do they do that? nope. my analysis: people who sell lettuce are jerks.